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<title>Cyber-Divorce Information and Resources | Divorce | Divorce lawyer</title>
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<description><![CDATA[Divorce Articles and Information  - Useful Articles related to Divorce: Custody, Child Support, Alimony, and much more.Cyber-Divorce, nevada divorce, divorce arizona, new york divorce attorneys, divorce attorneys, divorce lawyers, divorce attorney, divorce lawyer, quick divorce, oklahoma divorce, new jersey divorce]]></description>
<pubDate>Thu, 01 May 2008 18:54:19 -0600</pubDate>
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	<title>FATHERS' RIGHTS</title>
	<link>http://www.Cyber-Divorce.com/info/Divorce-Info/FATHERS--RIGHTS.html</link>
<pubDate>Thu, 01 May 2008 18:54:19 -0600</pubDate>
<category>Divorce Info</category>
<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.Cyber-Divorce.com/info/Divorce-Info/FATHERS--RIGHTS.html</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[In most homes today, mothers and fathers share child-care duties and the daily labors necessary to operate a family (cooking, cleaning, shopping, feeding and bathing the kids, helping with homework, and so forth). With both parents working in so many modern families, child rearing often involves day care, baby-sitters, or an infinite array of creative scheduling choices. Both mothers and fathers have become, in the words of one pediatric psychologist, &quot;executive parents&quot; - more parental care managers than direct caregivers. In other words, families today are a lot like small businesses, with dads, moms, relatives, and hired help doing whatever must be done, with little regard for titles or status.Over the past thirty years, women have made remarkable progress in areas of society that had been dominated by men for centuries. The women's movement was responsible for much of this advancement, and it was feminists who first pointed out that traditional gender roles were oppressive and demeaning to both men and women. Interestingly, only half of feminism's message has made a meaningful impression on our collective consciousness. Women are now viewed as being capable of success in the workplace. Men, however, are not yet seen as being capable of providing competent, attentive child care -- at least not in the eyes of many family court judges.In a recent USA Today poll, 88 percent of the eleven thousand Americans surveyed believed that mothers and fathers should share equally in all child-rearing activities. Because local judiciaries usually are in tune with prevailing public opinion, many political experts find the invincibility of the maternal presumption in family law to be remarkable. As one veteran analyst commented, &quot;Walking into some of these courtrooms is like traveling back in time.&quot;Years of experience and research have convinced me that to understand the gender bias condoned by many family courts, we must recognize the interaction of all elements of the phenomenon. An inappropriate reverence for a long extinct ideal of motherhood is certainly one important piece of the puzzle. The belief that fathers can't handle the rigors of child care is another. The conviction that children need a father's money much more than the father himself also plays a part. The final key might be the perception -- widely held within the judiciary and shared by many &quot;civilians&quot; -- that fathers don't really want, or need, parental rights or responsibilities.Society's lack of respect for fatherhood and the inaccurate assumption that fathers are not truly interested in parenting combine to perpetuate a comfortable rationalization, a judicial delusion that plays out something like this: Mothers and children need each other. Fathers and children don't, or at least not as much. The insensitivity and inaccuracy of the notion that divorced or otherwise estranged fathers really don't want or need continuing involvement with their children immediately became clear to me within days after my decision to represent fathers in family court. Since that day, I've become all too familiar with the very real pain and overpowering sense of loss suffered by fathers excluded from their children's lives. All kinds of fathers from all walks of life find separation from their children to be a torturous, devastating experience. The father might be a glib advertising exec or a quiet factory foreman. The agony is the same.The personal and societal damages directly attributable to current family court policies and practices are so extensive it's difficult to decide where to begin an assessment of the carnage. For fathers and children, the pain, upheaval, and trauma often begin immediately. In about nine of ten divorce and dissolution cases involving children, the mother is awarded sole or primary custody. The father leaves the family and the family home; and a familial environment disintegrates into a tenuous, artificial, often unworkable access arrangement. The father is awarded visitation rights. Typically, he'll be allowed to see his children about fifty days a year.Most fathers recognize that it is difficult, often impossible, for a visitor to be an effective parent. The loss of normal day-to-day interaction and the absence of shared living creates an uncomfortable, strained relationship between fathers and children. Most estranged fathers loathe visitation -- both the term and the experience.A visiting father often feels like a stranger, an impostor. Visits become self-conscious, high-pressure interruptions of the children's &quot;normal&quot; lives. Fathers feel the need to entertain their kids or load them up with gifts. There doesn't seem to be enough time for the ordinary activities that &quot;normal&quot; dads and kids share -- fixing a bike, taking a quiet walk, watching cartoons, painting the garage door. Time, most parents know, is an essential component of child rearing. Parents and children who don't spend a great deal of time together never become at ease with each other. Building trust and establishing effective communication become virtually impossible. Unless a father and his children have an unusually strong relationship, visits become what one expert calls &quot;the keenest torture that divorce has to offer.&quot;Admittedly, in accordance with visitation agreements, some of these kids do see their fathers from time to time. As we've noted previously, the average visitation order gives a father fifty days a year with his children. Because 20 percent of custodial mothers see no value in maintaining the father-child relationship, visitation interference is common. That fifty-day allotment quickly evaporates. Only one in six divorced fathers sees his children once a week or more. Almost 40 percent of children who live with their mothers haven't seen their fathers in at least a year. The bottom line is, fathers are vanishing from the social landscape and, as the following facts compiled by the National Fatherhood Initiative demonstrate, father absence has dramatic and extremely serious effects on us all:* Seventy-two percent of all teenaged murderers grew up without fathers. * Sixty percent of rapists were raised in fatherless homes. * Seventy percent of the kids now incarcerated in juvenile corrections facilities grew up in a single-parent environment. * Fatherless children are twice as likely to drop out of school as their classmates who live with two parents. * Children whose fathers are absent consistently score lower than the norm in reading and math tests. * Three out of four teen suicides occur in single-parent families. * Children who live apart from their fathers experience more accidents and a higher rate of chronic asthma, headaches, and speech defects. * Eighty percent of the adolescents in psychiatric hospitals come from fatherless homes. * Compared to girls raised in homes where both parents are present, the daughters of single parents are 164 percent more likely to become pregnant before marriage, 53 percent more likely to marry as teenagers, and 92 percent more likely to dissolve their own marriages. * A growing body of evidence establishes a high correlation between fatherlessness and violence among young men (especially violence against women). * The absence of a biological father increases by 900 percent a daughter's vulnerability to rape and sexual abuse (often these assaults are committed by stepfathers or the boyfriends of custodial mothers).In the opinion of social Critic David Blankenhorn, author of Fatherless America, &quot;Fatherlessness is the most destructive trend of our generation.&quot; Vice President Al Gore concurred, declaring in a recent speech that &quot;absent fathers are behind most social woes.&quot;Knowledgeable social scientists have linked fatherlessness to a wide range of social nightmares and developmental deficiencies. Among these problems, judging by the results of numerous studies, are substantial increases in juvenile crime, drug and alcohol abuse, teenage pregnancy, promiscuity, truancy, and vandalism. Strong connections have also been established between a father's absence and a child's likelihood of becoming a dropout, jobless, a suicide victim, or a target of sexual abuse. A study of state prision populations found that only 41 percent of the inmates grew up with two parents. FBI statistics indicate that a missing father is a more reliable predictor of criminal activity than race, environment, or poverty.U.S. News &amp; World Report recently described the frightening reality faced daily by residents of fatherless city neighborhoods this way: &quot;There are places in America where fathers -- usually the best hope to socialize boys -- are so rare that bedlam engulfs the community. Teachers, ministers, cops and other substitute authority figures fight losing battles in these places to present role models to pre-teen and teenage boys. The result is often an astonishing level of violence and incomprehensible incidents of brutality.&quot;Two years ago, the National Center for Health Statistics reported that a child living with a divorced mother is almost twice as likely as a child living with both parents to repeat a grade of school, contract anemia, and suffer from intestinal distress, bed-wetting, and stuttering.Several psychologists have documented the developmental difficulties endured by fatherless children. Low self-esteem, poor school performance, hyperactivity, lack of discipline, rejection of authority, depression, withdrawal, and several degrees of paranoia were among the disorders identified. As a group, these emotional and behavioral symptoms form what one researcher calls &quot;the adolescent reactive adjustment syndrome.&quot; For years after childhood, hundreds of thousands of the fatherless continue to encounter educational, career, and relationship failures far more often than their peers from intact families.Our thanks to Jeffrey Leving and Kenneth Dachman, authors of &quot;Fathers' Rights&quot; (1997), along with HarperCollins publisher for permission to reprint this valuable excerpt. DOL will be announcing dates for a live discussion forum with the authors. We hope our DOL readers will join in with questions and comments on this heated issue.
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	<title>DISOBEYING COURT ORDER LEADS TO MORE TROUBLE</title>
	<link>http://www.Cyber-Divorce.com/info/Divorce-Info/DISOBEYING-COURT-ORDER-LEADS-TO-MORE-TROUBLE.html</link>
<pubDate>Thu, 01 May 2008 18:53:02 -0600</pubDate>
<category>Divorce Info</category>
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	<description><![CDATA[Judge Anne Kass Anne Kass is a District Judge for the Second Judicial District in Albuquerque, New Mexico. This one fo first of several articles she has submitted to Divorce Online.I'm sure we can all agree that people do foolish things. One of the most foolish is to disobey a court order, partic-ularly in a domestic relations court where matters of custody and family support are concerned. And compounding the foolishness are the attemps of attorneys who try to rationalize their clients' disobedience.Both clients and attorneys often rely on the same two excuses to try to justify disregarding court orders. They are (1) the other side did it first and (2) the court's order was based on dishonest or incorrect information.Neither of those excuses works.The age-old lament of, &quot;He or she started it!&quot; is as ineffective in court as it was when we tried to use it with our mothers when we were children. The notion that if I can prove you misbehaved before I did, it will make you responsible for my misbehavior is truly absurd. Each of us is responsible for our own behavior. Totally!The argument that the court order is unfair or wrong be-cause of a mistake or a lie is also fruitless. If there really is something amiss with a court order, the court must be asked to reconsider it. Only a court can change a court order, and until a change is granted the order must be strictly obeyed. When an order is violated, the old caution: &quot;Nothing is ever so bad that it can't get worse.&quot; comes true.Not long ago a man was in my court whose ex-wife claimed he had paid only part of the child support that he was ordered to pay. The man, aided by his attorney, admitted he hadn't paid all the support, but he claimed the shortage was caused by the mother's dishonesty about the cost of daycare. In other words, she started it. He hadn't asked the court to review the daycare expense. He just jumped to his own conclusion and acted on it. By the time they got to court he owed more than $3,000 in back support.Investigation proved that he was mistaken about the daycare expense. But even if he had been right, the error would still not have been legal justification for him to violate the court order.This dad had to pay the delinquent support, plus 15% interest. To make matters worse, he had to pay his ex-wife's legal fees and expenses, which included round-trip airfare for her to attend the court hearing. It cost him an extra $2,000. There are only two viable excuses for not obeying a court order: Either the party didn't know about it, or the order was impossible to obey. Impossible, not inconvenient or difficult! Attorneys who bring their clients to court with explanations other than these do their clients a terrible and costly disservice.
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	<title>BASIC ATTORNEY/CLIENT CONTRACT PROVISIONS</title>
	<link>http://www.Cyber-Divorce.com/info/Divorce-Info/BASIC-ATTORNEY-CLIENT-CONTRACT-PROVISIONS.html</link>
<pubDate>Thu, 01 May 2008 18:52:03 -0600</pubDate>
<category>Divorce Info</category>
<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.Cyber-Divorce.com/info/Divorce-Info/BASIC-ATTORNEY-CLIENT-CONTRACT-PROVISIONS.html</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[Basic Attorney/Client Contract Provisions In Divorce CasesHiring a divorce attorney may be one of the more important financial transactions of your life. Accordingly, to safeguard yourself, you should have a written contract. Most attorneys are willing to provide that. Certain aspects of such a contract should be as follows:*A description of what matter the lawyer will be representing you in.*How much the initial retainer fee is, and whether or not it has been paid.*How often will there be billings in the future.*If billing is based in whole or in part upon hourly rates, the hourly rates for each person who will be rendering services. Some lawyers charge on a strictly hourly basis.*A statement that the lawyer has not promised and cannot promise any results.*Provisions for out of pocket fees, such as travel expert fees, filing fees, service costs, subpoenas, court reporter and transcript costs, which are the client's sole responsibility. The lawyer has no duty to pay or advance any such expenses.In Illinois, all billings and fees should depend upon the following factors:A. The time and labor required, the novelty and difficulty of the questions involved, and the skill requisite to perform the legal services properly.B. The likelihood that the acceptance of this particular employment will preclude other employment by the lawyer.C. The customary charge in the county in which the litigation takes place for similar legal services.D. The amount involved and the results obtained.E. The time limitation imposed by the client or by the circumstances.F. The nature and length of the professional relationship between the lawyer and the client.G. The experience, reputation and ability of the lawyer or lawyers performing the services.The following statement of client's rights and responsibilities is required to be included in the contract by Illinois Law (each state has their own requirements or lack thereof):WRITTEN ENGAGEMENT AGREEMENT. The written engagement agreement, prepared by the counsel, shall clearly address the objectives of representation and detail the fee arrangement, including all material terms. If fees are to be based on criteria apart from, or in addition to, hourly rates, such criteria (e.g., unique time demands and/or utilization of unique expertise) shall be delineated. The client shall receive a copy of the written engagement agreement and any additional clarification requested and is advised not to sign any such agreement which the client finds to be unsatisfactory or does not understand.REPRESENTATION. Representation will commence upon the signing of the written engagement agreement. The counsel will provide competent representation, which requires legal knowledge, skill, thoroughness and preparation to handle those matters set forth in the written engagement agreement. Once employed, the counsel will act with reasonable diligence and promptness, as well as use his best efforts on behalf of the client, but he cannot guarantee results. The counsel will abide by the client's decision concerning the objectives of representation, including whether or not to accept an offer of settlement, and will endeavor to explain any matter to the extent reasonably necessary to permit the client to make informed decisions regarding representation. During the course of representation and afterwards, the counsel may not use or reveal a client's confidence or secrets, except as required or permitted by law.COMMUNICATION. The counsel will keep the client reasonably informed about the status of representation and will promptly respond to reasonable requests for information, including any reasonable request for an estimate respecting future costs of the representation or an appropriate portion of it. The client shall be truthful in all discussions with the counsel and provide all information or documentation required to enable the counsel to provide competent representation. During representation, the client is entitled to receive all pleadings and substantive documents prepared on behalf of the client and every document received from any other counsel of record. At the end of the representation and on written request from the client, the counsel will return to the client all original documents and exhibits. In the event that the counsel withdraws from representation, or is discharged by the client, the counsel will turn over to the substituting counsel (or, if no substitutions, to the client) all original documents and exhibits together with complete copies of all pleadings and discovery within thirty (30) days of the counsel's withdrawal or discharge.ETHICAL CONDUCT. The counsel cannot be required to engage in conduct which is illegal, unethical, or fraudulent. In matters involving minor children, the counsel may refuse to engage in conduct which, in the counsel's professional judgment, would be contrary to the best interest of the client's minor child or children. A counsel who cannot ethically abide by his client's directions shall be allowed to withdraw from representation.FEES. The counsel's fee for services may not be contingent upon the securing of a dissolution of marriage, upon obtaining custody, or be based upon the amount of maintenance, child support, or property settlement received, except as specifically permitted under Supreme Court rules. The counsel may not require a non-refundable retainer fee, but must remit back any overpayment at the end of the representation. The counsel may enter into a consensual security arrangement with the client whereby assets of the client are pledged to secure payment of legal fees or costs, but only if the counsel first obtains approval of the Court. The counsel will prepare and provide the client with an itemized billing statement detailing hourly rates (and/or other criteria), time spent, tasks performed, and costs incurred on a regular basis, at least quarterly. The client should review each billing statement promptly and address any objection or error in a timely manner. The client will not be billed for time spent to explain or correct a billing statement. If an appropriately detailed written estimate is submitted to a client as to future costs for a counsel's representation or a portion of the contemplated services (i.e., relative to specific steps recommended by the counsel in the estimate) and, without objection from the client, the counsel then performs the contemplated services, all such services are presumptively reasonable and necessary, as well as to be deemed pursuant to the client's direction. In an appropriate case, the client may pursue contribution to his or her fees and costs from the other party.DISPUTES. The counsel-client relationship is regulated by the Illinois Rules of Professional Conduct (Article VIII of the Illinois Supreme Court Rules), and any dispute shall be reviewed under the terms of such Rules.Spelling out everything before you begin will give you the confidence and peace of mind to obtain a good result.BY: Paul L. Feinstein
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	<title>USER-FRIENDLY COURTS</title>
	<link>http://www.Cyber-Divorce.com/info/Divorce-Info/USER-FRIENDLY-COURTS.html</link>
<pubDate>Thu, 01 May 2008 18:51:10 -0600</pubDate>
<category>Divorce Info</category>
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	<description><![CDATA[&nbsp;recently read several newspaper clippings concerning the creation of a new family court in Clark County (Las Vegas), Nevada. The Clark County Family Court is part of a statewide family court system adopted in Nevada. No, this will not be yet another in my long series of pleas for the creation of a family court system in Michigan. I have not and will not abandon the issue. However, there are many things we can do to make our courts more user friendly to families and children short of major changes in the structure of our court system. Many of these ideas are being implemented in the new Clark County Family Court.The Clark County Family Court has an on-site child care facility for litigants who can't afford to hire sitters to watch their children while the parents appear in court. The local Police Protective Association donated $2500 to furnish the facility with toys, tables, and desks. Every working parent is aware of this country's shortage of available and affordable child care. Appearing in court for a divorce or other family-related litigation is highly stressful for any parent. The additional stress of trying to find child care for your day in court can and should be eliminated. Clark County has given us a fine example to follow.The Clark County Family Court, even though it is in only temporary quarters (a new building to house the Court is scheduled to open in mid-1994). has three spacious lobby areas so litigants on opposite sides of a case need not be forced into undesired proximity while waiting for their hearing. The color scheme is a soothing soft pink. There are a lot of open spaces to depart from the cold institutional look of many courthouses and public buildings. Both the color scheme and the internal architecture should help avoid the unpleasant corridor confrontations with which we are all too familiar.The courtrooms are small, but with a full complement of computer and video recording equipment. The court will use an optional imaging system to reduce paper filing and retention requirements and speed access to needed data. Here in Michigan, the Oakland County Friend of the Court has already implemented such a system.While the Clark County innovations are a step in the right direction, even more could be done to make family court (or any court hearing family-related disputes) more accessible and user friendly. For example, every courthouse I've visited has a serious lack of private space for confidential attorney-client conferences. Stairwells, restrooms, cafeterias, and the ends of corridors are a poor substitute for small private rooms which would allow us to discuss with our clients the most important decisions they may ever make. The building housing the Livingston County Circuit Court does have private conference rooms of varying sizes adjacent to each of its two courtrooms. They are models of what is needed. Unfortunately, there are too few rooms to meet the demand on busy motion days. In my home county, Oakland, such facilities are non-existent at the courthouse and at the friend of the court annex.Access to the basics of modem technology, such as photocopiers, fax machines, and telephones is also far too difficult in most courthouses. If the closest available photocopy or fax machine is on the fifth floor, but your motion heating or trial is on the first floor, timely use of such equipment during a five-minute recess is unlikely.What about &quot;night court&quot; for people who don't have the flexibility to leave their day jobs for a hearing without forfeiting a day's pay (or worse, jeopardizing their job). None of us wants to take time from our families to attend evening hearings. But we are in business of serving our clients. Consider the custodial parent working a low-pay hourly job who must give up a day's pay, which may equal a week's child support, to attend an enforcement hearing. Or what of the non-custodial parent who jeopardizes his job and ability to continue paying support by taking another day off for court. Who is the real loser? The children, as usual. I'm not suggesting that the circuit court or friend of the court be open for business every night. However, opening a few nights each month would address a real need at minimal sacrifice, assuming night duty is rotated amongst the staff.Although we may have policy disagreements. I deeply respect Michigan's friends of the court and their staffs tor taking on an impossible job with limited resources. As a general we, the friend of the court does an admirable job. Witness Oakland County~s new program for direct deposit of support payments into recipient's bank accounts. But why can't policy makers such as county commissioners and circuit judges recognize that our friend of the court offices represent the face of the judicial system for most members of the general public? The facilities. equipment. and staffing levels provided to the friend offices are woefully inadequate in many judicial circuits. Why. for example. in one of America's most affluent counties (Oakland), is the friend of the court forced to occupy such substandard facilities? For an office that bears the primary burden for handling our judicial system's most important cases, the surroundings are a slap in the face to us, the office's employees, and the families and children we represent. Maybe I'm the only one who feels this way. but as a taxpayer of Oakland County. I'd support a special assessment to upgrade friend of the court facilities.I hope that the renewed emphasis in Washington on family and children's issues will trickle down (sorry) to the state and local levels. We need to demand respect for the work we do, for the families and children we represent, and for the dedicated public servants who assist us in this overwhelming task.
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	<title>DATING DURING DIVORCE ISN'T WISE</title>
	<link>http://www.Cyber-Divorce.com/info/Divorce-Info/DATING-DURING-DIVORCE-ISN-T-WISE.html</link>
<pubDate>Thu, 01 May 2008 18:49:42 -0600</pubDate>
<category>Divorce Info</category>
<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.Cyber-Divorce.com/info/Divorce-Info/DATING-DURING-DIVORCE-ISN-T-WISE.html</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[10-25-93 (Dating) Originally published 11-1-93 ~ Anne Kass is a District Judge for the Second Judicial District in Albuquerque, New Mexico. This is the first of several articles she has submitted to Divorce Online.A few weeks ago the classified personals contained an ad that read,&quot;Male 53, unhappily married, divorce pending, seeks slim, unattached female, 40-55, for long-term, caring relationship. Call . . . &quot;It made me think of the hundreds of cases I've seen in divorce court in which one of the spouses became intimately involved with someone new before the divorce was final. Those cases were horribly acrimonious and expensive because there is very little that can turn a divorce case into a thermonuclear war quite like the involvement of one spouse with a new companion.New Mexico has had no-fault divorce since 1933, so the Courts are not much interested in who is the good-spouse or the bad-spouse. That won't make any difference in how property is divided, and it won't change other aspects of the financial divorce.However, these new relationships may be relevant to custody and visitation decisions. One thing is for sure, if a parent becomes involved with someone new, the children should not be involved in that new relationship. If they do involve the children, they should expect to hear about it in court. The court's concern will be about emotional damage to the children, not the parent's morality.Psychological and sociological data tell us that an intimate relationship which starts before a divorce is finalized has very little chance of long-term survival. The new companion may be serving primarily as a distraction, a way to avoid feeling the pain that divorce causes.When the new relationship dissolves, as it almost certainly will, the children experience another loss, if they've been made a part of that relationship. Children who suffer a series of losses can end up with a sense that it is not safe to develop close relationships. That can impact all of their friendships as well as their own future attitudes about marriage. Mistrust, isolation and loneliness are high prices for children to pay for their parents' bad judgement. People in the throes of a divorce are wise to avoid any intimate relationships until well after the divorce is final. They can save themselves a lot of aggravation and legal fees, if nothing else. But whatever the grown-ups do to themselves, they should absolutely avoid introducing any new companions to their children until the divorce is over and until there is a solid foundation for the new relationship with some reasonable degree of probability that it will last.
Posted on Tuesday, June 12, 2007 at 12:55PM by Site Administrator in Legal Articles | Comments Off ]]></description>
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	<title>DIVORCE CHECKLIST</title>
	<link>http://www.Cyber-Divorce.com/info/Divorce-Info/DIVORCE-CHECKLIST.html</link>
<pubDate>Thu, 01 May 2008 18:47:28 -0600</pubDate>
<category>Divorce Info</category>
<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.Cyber-Divorce.com/info/Divorce-Info/DIVORCE-CHECKLIST.html</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[&nbsp;response to numerous requests from our readers, Divorce Online has prepared a basic checklist of issues that should be considered in every divorce and discussed with your attorney. The list is intended to be general and broad in scope, and food for thought as part of a negotiated settlement or in preparation for trial. Some items may not apply to everyone due to state law variations, whether or not there are children, etc. Feel free to download it for your personal use. Also, please let us know if we overlooked anything. Your comments are welcome. 
Divorce Checklist

    Custodial arrangements for the children 
    Visitation/parenting time 
    Child support 
    Medical, dental, hospital, pharmaceutical, and psychological expenses for the children 
    COBRA or medical insurance for a former spouse for up to 3 years from the entry of the divorce judgement where applicable 
    Income tax exemptions regarding the children -- who will claim them 
    Alimony/spousal support 
    Property division 
    Division of real estate, transfers, and deeds 
    Making sure that all investments are covered including limited partnerships, stocks, bonds, and savings 
    The handling of debts 
    Pensions, IRA accounts, 401K transfers, Qualified Domestic Relations Orders 
    Personal property including furniture, furnishings, art, and collectibles 
    Motor vehicles, including trailers and boats 
    Income taxes whether there can be joint filings and liabilities for payment of taxes 
    Bankruptcy issues, protection in case one spouse does go bankrupt 
    Proper security and protection regarding property division 
    Clauses to hold the other spouse harmless and indemnification in case someone fails to live up to his or her obligations 
    How to handle the discovery of hidden assets 
    Spouse abuse and restraining orders 
    Restoration of a prior maiden name 
    Life insurance policies as protection for child support payments, alimony/spousal support payments, and/or property payments in the event of death 
    Attorney fees and/or mediator, accountant, and other expert fees and payment of same 
    College education for children and/or spouse 
    Provisions for review in certain circumstances such as with regard to child support and/or spousal support. 
    Clauses such as payment for summer camps and/or religious training and/or upbringing or other special situations involving children
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	<title>DIVORCE MEDIATION: AN ALTERNATIVE TO LITIGATION</title>
	<link>http://www.Cyber-Divorce.com/info/Divorce-Info/DIVORCE-MEDIATION--AN-ALTERNATIVE-TO-LITIGATION.html</link>
<pubDate>Thu, 01 May 2008 18:37:47 -0600</pubDate>
<category>Divorce Info</category>
<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.Cyber-Divorce.com/info/Divorce-Info/DIVORCE-MEDIATION--AN-ALTERNATIVE-TO-LITIGATION.html</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[What is mediation? Mediation is a process in which the husband and wife work with a neutral third party who facilitates an agreement on child support, alimony, equitable distribution and other issues involved in their divorce.*When is mediation an appropriate alternative to litigation? Mediation may be an appropriate alternative to litigation when both parties seek to resolve their divorce issues by agreement and want to avoid a trial or other adversarial court proceedings. Mediation may not be appropriate if there has been domestic violence in the family, if one party feels controlled by or fearful of the other party or if either party is not willing to provide full disclosure of their income, assets and debts.*Who should mediate? The mediator is a neutral person, preferably an attorney or mental health professional, who has completed formal training in mediation and has been accredited by the sanctioning body of professional mediators in that given state (New Jersey Society of Professional Mediators in the case of this author). *If we have an attorney-mediator, will he or she represent both of us during the divorce? The mediator is a neutral facilitator and doesn't represent either party. Each party should obtain independent legal advice from an attorney of their choice and should consult with him or her regularly during the mediation process. Neither party should engage in mediation without knowing their legal rights.*If we need a mediator and two attorneys, won't that increase the cost of the divorce? A litigated divorce is an expensive process. Even a simple court proceeding often requires hours of preparation and waiting time with additional follow-up work afterwards. The attorney's time in making court appearances, as well as the time he or she spends on discovery, depositions, motions and telephone calls can be costly. Mediation, on the other hand, is a more amicable process which takes fewer attorney hours and results in lower total fees, even when the expense of the mediator is included.*How long does mediation take? Mediation usually takes between 3 and 10 sessions depending on the complexity of the issues and the needs of the parties. If the parties cooperate in providing discovery and are able to schedule appointments weekly, the entire divorce should be completed in less than 3 months. A litigated divorce averages about 1 year but may take as long as 3 years (or more in some counties) if a trial is necessary. *What happens at the end of the mediation process? With the advice of your attorneys and the help of the mediator, you and your spouse will reach agreement on the issues. The mediator will then draft a Memorandum of Understanding setting forth your agreement. One of the attorneys will incorporate your agreement into a Property Settlement Agreement to be signed by both parties. One of the attorneys will be designated to file a Complaint for Divorce and, shortly thereafter, a court date can be scheduled for the final hearing. *What if my spouse and I can't agree on all the issues? Any issues which are not resolved through mediation can be decided by the court or negotiated by the attorneys. *Can we mediate disagreements which arise after the divorce? It is inevitable that there may be disagreements with your former spouse concerning the children or other issues even after the divorce. Mediation is always an alternative for resolving these family disputes, whenever they arise. Risa A. Kleiner, a senior associate with Wilentz, Goldman and Spitzer, P.A. has been involved exclusively in family law for many years, handling issues of domestic violence, custody and visitation, prenuptial agreements, mediation and all related issues dealing with divorce.]]></description>
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	<title>CHOOSING A MATRIMONIAL LAWYER</title>
	<link>http://www.Cyber-Divorce.com/info/Divorce-Info/CHOOSING-A-MATRIMONIAL-LAWYER.html</link>
<pubDate>Thu, 01 May 2008 18:37:01 -0600</pubDate>
<category>Divorce Info</category>
<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.Cyber-Divorce.com/info/Divorce-Info/CHOOSING-A-MATRIMONIAL-LAWYER.html</guid>
	<description><![CDATA[Choosing the right attorney may be your most important decision in ending your marriage and successfully beginning the next phase of your life. The right matrimonial lawyer can help provide you with financial security. The wrong lawyer may lead to the loss of marital assets that are rightfully yours or even may result in your losing custody of your children.You need an experienced and concerned attorney to fight for you, to guide you through the legal process, and to respect your needs. Litigants in divorce cases often change lawyers before the conclusion of their case. Part of the problem is that often clients do not put enough time and effort into selecting their attorneys. To keep this from happening to you, you should choose your lawyer carefully.Before making your decision, interview at least three attorneys so you have a basis for comparison. Allow a wide range of factors to weigh into your decision. Do not choose a lawyer based solely on what others say. The fact that your friend or relative recommended a particular attorney does not mean he or she is right for you. Be discriminating.Your selection can best be accomplished by establishing criteria that are important for you and then matching up the attorneys against the following standards:1. Experience and Knowledge of Divorce LawThe most important criteria for selecting a matrimonial lawyer are knowledge of and experience in family law. An experienced matrimonial lawyer will be familiar with the law, its trends and the legal system. When a problem or crisis arises in your case, the seasoned lawyer is less likely to be caught off guard and more likely to be prepared to handle it. Pose the following questions to each matrimonial attorney you interview to determine the lawyer's level of knowledge and experience:*How many years have you practiced law? A lawyer who has practiced 10 or more years is more likely to have a strong base of knowledge and experience. *During the past ten years, what percentage of your practice has been devoted to divorce law? You should look for a lawyer who devotes at least 50 percent of his or her practice to matrimonial law.*How many contested divorce trials have you had during the past five years? Although a lawyer may otherwise be knowledgeable, he or she may have limited courtroom experience.*How many contested custody cases are you presently handling? Custody cases require special and unique skills. A lawyer may be experienced in divorce cases but have minimal experience with custody matters.*Do you frequently handle complex or large asset cases? You don't want to be the guinea pig for a lawyer who is just learning the ropes or who handles only simple cases.*Have you written any articles or publications related to any aspect of matrimonial law? A lawyer who has written on various subjects of divorce law has demonstrated knowledge of the law.*Have you presented any lectures on the subject of divorce law and to whom? Lawyers who lecture to the bench and bar are often acknowledged by their peers as experts in the field.*Are you a Fellow of the Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers? As a member of the Academy, a lawyer is acknowledged as an expert in divorce law and has met stringent standards for admission.*Have you received public recognition for your expertise in divorce law? Martindale-Hubbell is a directory that rates lawyers by confidential questionnaires presented to other lawyers. The ratings are divided into two categories: legal ability and general ethical standards. Another book, Best Lawyers in America, published by Woodward/White, Inc., and compiled by Steven Naifeh and Gregory White Smith, lists the best lawyers in America by specialty. For example, matrimonial lawyers are listed under &quot;Domestic Relations.&quot;2. Rapport With Your LawyerAs a client, you deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. In this area, your &quot;gut feeling&quot; about the lawyer can be your best guide. Do you feel comfortable talking to the lawyer? Do you feel that the lawyer is condescending to you? Be wary of lawyers who are abrupt and inattentive. Keep in mind that you will spend many hours with your lawyer during the course of your case. The process of a divorce is often time consuming and emotionally draining. If you are uncomfortable with your lawyer, it may be a constant source of additional stress to you.3. Commitment and Desire to Obtain a Favorable ResultDoes the lawyer want to WIN for you? This may be difficult to determine during an initial interview. However, there is a greater likelihood that the lawyer will be committed to your case if he or she is interested in and excited about your case at the onset and is not distracted or preoccupied. A lawyer's interest in your case may be revealed by a lively and energetic search for facts and detail4. Availability to Other Lawyers and Support StaffA matrimonial attorney often needs the assistance of other attorneys and paralegals. This is particularly true in a complex case where a team of specialized professionals may be very effective and cost-efficient. Your lawyer can delegate certain tasks, such as legal research, to junior associates or paralegals with lower billing rates. By doing this, your lawyer will spend less of his or her more expensive time doing work that the support staff easily can handle.Similarly, a strong support staff can keep your case from grinding to a halt if your attorney is unavailable due to a prolonged trial or a vacation. In these instances, it may be necessary to talk to another attorney in the office who is familiar with your case. Ask how many lawyers in the firm handle matrimonial cases and about their availability. You may also want to meet other lawyers in the firm or department to determine whether you can establish a rapport with them as well.5. Reputation of the Lawyer and the Firm With Whom He or She is AssociatedA lawyer should have a reputation for being trustworthy, credible, well prepared and reasonable. Obviously, any questions you ask lawyers about their firms or their own reputations will generate self-serving responses. To obtain objective information, ask other lawyers, accountants or former clients of the firm. Your lawyer can provide you with references from former clients who have consented to the release of their names.6. Diversity of Firm and Other ResourcesOften divorce cases require knowledge of other fields of law, such as real estate, bankruptcy, personal injury, criminal, commercial, estates, trusts and tax law. You should learn whether the law firm has other departments that are available for consultation when needed. Also, a matrimonial lawyer must rely on outside experts to render opinions related to custody matters and appraise assets such as businesses, real estate, pensions and personal property. Find out whether the lawyer has prominent and credible experts accessible to him or her for these services.7. Assertiveness and TenacityMake sure you choose an attorney who is willing and able to adapt to your changing needs. Though you may want a lawyer who is sensitive and compassionate toward you, keep in mind that these qualities alone are insufficient. There are also times when your attorney must be assertive and tenacious, especially when dealing with your spouse, your spouse's attorney, and the Court. A lawyer who exudes strength and confidence during your initial interview is more likely to be able to be aggressive when the need arises.8. Strategy and FocusEvery case requires a plan of action consistent with goals that the lawyer and client mutually agree upon. Unless your lawyer develops a strategy and remains focused on your goals, your case may become prolonged and costly. During the interview, ask the lawyer what result could be reasonably obtained and what strategies could be implemented to achieve your goals. The lawyer's response to this question will give you insight into his or her analytical skills and ability to develop a blueprint.9. Proximity of Lawyer's OfficeIf your case is complex and contested, you may need to consult regularly with your attorney. If you consider selecting an attorney whose office is located a substantial distance from your home or office, you must weigh the additional burden against other factors.10. Legal FeesThe Rules of Court mandate that an attorney and client have a written fee agreement. The agreement normally provides for a retainer (an initial lump sum payment that will be applied toward future bills) and an hourly rate charged by the attorney. The difference in hourly rates and retainers among experienced divorce lawyers is relatively insignificant. It is most important that you feel confident that the lawyer is trustworthy because you cannot independently verify all the time spent on each task.An expensive attorney is not always a skilled attorney. Be wary of lawyers who lack the credentials to justify substantial fees. Do not assume that because an attorney is expensive, he or she must be competent. On the other hand, do not let legal fees deter you from retaining a skilled lawyer.Remember to keep counsel fees in perspective. For example, if your lawyer obtains $50.00 more per week in child support for your 3-year-old, after 18 years you would receive an additional $46,800.00. An experienced lawyer may be better able to procure a bigger or longer term alimony settlement. Similarly, good lawyering may enable a litigant to maximize or minimize the value of a business being distributed. An experienced lawyer may cost more now, but the long-term financial benefits may outweigh that cost later.Compare Your EvaluationsAfter you have had several interviews with matrimonial attorneys, you may want to compare the results. Depending upon your needs, you may give greater weight to some criteria and less to weight to others. ConclusionA divorce can be extremely stressful and painful. It can be a very difficult time for you and as well as for your children, relatives and friends. If you are getting a divorce, you do not need the added stress of wondering, &quot;Did I choose the right lawyer?&quot; Your lawyer should be part of your solution, not a part of your problem. If you have a strong, experienced lawyer fighting for your best interests, you will not have to worry about your case. Rather, you can devote more of your time and energy to emotional and psychological well-being, and you can start looking forward to your new life. Don't make it harder on yourself by choosing your lawyer haphazardly. You owe it to yourself to choose carefully and to choose the best lawyer for you.David M. Wildstein, Esq., head of the nine-member matrimonial department of Wilentz, Goldman &amp; Spitzer of Woodbridge, New Jersey, has represented Cristina DeLorean and many other celebrated divorce clients. He has been cited in Best Lawyers in America and is a former Chairman of the Matrimonial Law Section of the New Jersey State Bar Association. He can be reached at 908/855-6010. 90 Woodbridge Center DriveWoodbridge, NJ 07095908/636-8000]]></description>
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